Casual Sex.

I am sitting here at work listening to my co-worker talk about her “date” last night. Now, I place the word in brackets because I don’t call it much of a date when it is more or less a planned hook-up for casual sex. A date consists of three things; entertainment, food, and romance. In Mormon terms you will hear, when the entertainment becomes the romance it is time to get married or get out. (Little humorous since Mormons can only kiss… or should only kiss, prior to marriage). At any rate, she is going on about how they have been seeing each other for six months but he is not ready to date anyone right now. I tell her that simply means he isn’t into her for more than what she can give to him, in that moment. Confident that they have an agreement and that they just have fun together, I lay it down without being bashful. I hate to break it to her but that is a line of BS. I don’t care who you are, how much you have been hurt, how recent your last break-up was, when the right person comes along you know it. When the wrong person comes along you also know it. I look at dates as more of an interview process, I mean, essentially, I am weeding through the positive and negative qualities and making my imaginary list of the man I would like to date and marry. Granted, this elimination process can also cause trouble when you find yourself only searching for the perfect person and sticking firm to your guns. Not everyone, or anyone, will be perfect but the act of dating sure does help you recognize the things you just can’t live without, and the things you just can’t live WITH.

Casual sex is such a joke for me. I mean, I understand when you aren’t Mormon, you don’t have the standards we are taught, and you have sex with a partner. That part makes sense, however, opening your house and your legs for a man that doesn’t even appreciate you, is straight up stupid and a representation of your insecurity. He called her yesterday and asked, “are you feeding me?” What happened to chivalry? If a guy asked me if I was feeding him, I would tell him to feed himself. I am a very generous person. I enjoy giving gifts more than receiving gifts but I have also come to realize that I need to not give, give, give. A man is perfectly capable of showing interest and putting forth effort. If you are constantly chasing after someone for their attention, you need to give up. The more you let a guy take advantage of you, the more he is going to. You can feed yourself lines all day long that you are not ready for a relationship, or that you are just having fun but at the end of the day, you are secretly wishing for that prince charming fairytale ending, one that I have never seen begin with casual sex!