Monday, March 25, 2013


When making decisions sometimes its best to make a "pros" and "cons" list so this morning I did just that.

It's hard for me to make decisions sometimes. Is it the right choice, have I considered all of the possibilities and consequences of my choice, is this what the Lord wants for me? You know, the basic questions that run trough your mind and consume your thought process. So, after asking some friends their opinion, I finally decided to make a "pros" and "cons" list. Are the things on the "cons" list liveable? Are they changeable? Do the "pros" make up for the "cons"?

I firmly believe that the Lord will never lead you astray and that he will also provide the guidance and direction needed to make all important, no matter how small they may seem, decisions in your life.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013


That is what I feel like doing.

Last night Stevo and I were talking about our credit scores and I pulled up my credit report. Although my score is very good, I couldn’t help but look at my student loans, as those and my car loan are pretty much all that is on my report. I took out a calculator and began adding up my student loans, my stomach began to turn and was in knots. How the heck can education cost so much money?!

This morning as I came into work, per ushe, I began to play on the internet however this time it was a productive quest, how will I pay off my student loans?! I found this amazing article on Forbes about how this girl paid off $90,000 worth of student loans in 3 years, that gave me some form of hope because I didn’t have that high of loans and I do have a decent paying job right now. I need to start making a spreadsheet and watching my money and stop spending because the last thing I want to do is find myself in 20 years’ worth of repayments to the government.

I am motivated… now to just stay motivated as I pass up the new shoes and all the other amazing things my eyes may become set upon. Being a grown up sucks sometimes.

Monday, March 18, 2013

All the Greats in Three's.

The other day Stevo asked me what Goose sounded like, how she said my name, how she talked. I took a moment to think and I became frustrated, it has only been a month and I can’t remember her voice. With that in mind, I can’t remember the last she actually spoke since she was pretty quiet her last few months. I miss her every day and can’t stop thinking about her. Trying to come to grips and cope with a loss is never easy, especially when multiple losses occur. Someone once said that the greats go in 3’s, I lost that number 3 on Friday night.

Eric Billings was one of the most amazing men I knew. I met him four years ago when he was a high councilman in the ward I was baptized in. Working with Eric gave me the opportunity to grow and understand an amazing father, husband, and leader. His smile was contagious and his laughter filled a room. I recently introduced Stevo to him and stated that I had always wanted to marry one of Eric’s sons just so that I could have Eric as a father. Death is never pleasant but I think the most shocking and hard ones to accept are the unexpected ones. As I called my second father, David Beckstead, we talked about losing Eric and our gratefulness for the Plan of Salvation and to know that we will see each other again.

I hide loss really well, which is not a good thing. I suppose I don’t know how to handle it and one day I am just going to break down. This is my format to inform anyone that knows me that when I lose someone close to me, regardless of how I may appear on the outside, I am really hurting on the inside. I am a softie.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words and I would like to add that it is worth a thousand emotions as well. Seeing a picture of Eric and his smile, of Goose, of my aunt, a flood of emotions run through me as memories flash through the catalog in my mind. Heaven has gained a lot of amazing people within the past two months and I can’t wait to see them all again.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Are You Mormon?

There are countless times throughout the day that I will see people and wonder, “Are they Mormon?” Ok, maybe that is a bit of a stretch, maybe this only happens once a week, but nonetheless, it happens. On Monday I was in a department meeting and a new guy was standing over in the corner, as he was introduced I glanced over to see him standing with what appeared to be the outline of garments. Sometimes it is difficult to know if they are garments since most men wear an undershirt with their dress shirts but there was something more distinctive about his shirt, it had the “eternal smiley face” appearance. From that moment on I found myself watching his every move to determine if he could be LDS. Should I ask? Is that awkward? Will he say something else that would lead me to believe he was Mormon? The questions and thoughts began to flood through.

Yet again this morning, with another co-worker, I found myself asking the same question. My friend Laura and I go to Starbucks in the morning (don’t worry, I don’t get coffee). At any rate, we passed by Roger, a co-worker that is constantly happy and smiling. I stopped and asked, “Do you ever get mad?” He replied, “Yes, why do you ask?” I went on to tell him that he is always smiling. I asked if he had kids, he replied with 4. Laura then asked him if he wanted some coffee, he declined. As we walked away I turned to Laura and said, “Do you think he is Mormon?” She said, “I thought the same thing because he had 4 kids.”

It is funny what marks or deems people a certain faith or type of persona. I had analyzed these qualities, he didn’t drink coffee, he has 4 kids, he is always smiling, and he gives the appearance of a Mormon, yes, sadly, there is an appearance. I decided that since Roger and I are friends, I could ask him and settle things for once. I approached his office and said, “Random question, are you Mormon?” He replied, “Why, because I have 4 kids?” He chuckled and went on to tell a Mormon joke. I stopped him before he could continue and said, “Wait, I am Mormon.” I didn’t care what joke he was going to say but the last thing I wanted was for him to feel awkward after telling a joke and finding out that I myself was Mormon. He followed with the typical response I always get when I tell someone I joined the church 4 years ago, “did you join for a guy?” “Nope, I joined for myself.”

He said that people ask his wife all of the time if she is Mormon too. They don’t drink, they never have, he only drinks coffee occasionally, they have 4 kids, and he is always happy. Man is he a great candidate for the missionaries :) I suppose if they “randomly” showed up at his door it would serve for an interesting conversation in the office!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Frightened Rabbit.

Frightened Rabbit…

Is not a nickname I have for Stevo, rather one of the most awesome bands! I don’t remember how I found these little Scottish gems but they sure can put on a concert. They had renamed the venue from the Music Box to the Fonda Theatre so I had no clue where we were going but was happy that it was close to my place. There is something about music that changes a person, their outlook, the way they handle situations. I can sit at work all day long while listening to music and the time just seems to pass by.

I love music.

I also love my family.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013


I have 46 days until my marathon.

Am I ready? No.

Have I been training? No.

I'm such a slacker! I am not sure if it's because I didn't actually pay for the marathon (monetary commitments usually push me harder) or the fact that I know my time is going to suck (because this is supposed to be one of try hardest marathons) but I have simply no motivation to fully train. I could also blame it on the fact that it's hard to train in Los Angeles, there were so many better running spots in Orange County. Regardless, I've got a marathon approaching and I've gotta get my butt in shape or I am going to hate myself for 4 hours (while running the marathon).

While talking to a friend last night I stated that in the morning I always have the motivation to run after work and after work I only have the motivation to run in the morning, it is a vicious vicious cycle.

In other news, I miss my cousin, she rocks.

Monday, March 11, 2013


Some days you are just a target.

When it comes to cars, I have never purchased something nice and luxurious until I purchased my Infiniti back in 2011. As with any new item, toy, or article of clothing, one does not want anything to happen to it and they become extra careful of how they treat it and in conjunction, try to make sure others are respectable in how they treat it as well. As soon as I drove off of that car lot I should have known I was driving a target… that would be hit, dinged, and smashed in every way possible.

June 2011- Three months after purchasing the car and two days before I left to the UK for vacation, a truck hit me going 65-75 mph while we were merging on to a freeway that was dead stop traffic. $14,000 worth of damage.

November 2011- A young girl with no insurance rear-ended me on Sunset blvd as she was texting and driving. $400.00 worth of damage.

January 2012- Valet attendants at the Marriot for a friend’s wedding decided they would make friends with my car and a white pole causing a large scratch and dent to the passenger-side bumper. $600 worth of damage.

March 2013… which brings me to this weekend. On Friday while driving along on my sweet merry way, a semi- truck driver for a large grocery store, was making a double right turn. I was on the inner right lane while he was on the outer left lane. He was not able to successfully make the turn while in his lane and therefore needed to occupy mine… with me IN it. Stevo looked over at me and immediately yelled, “TRUCK,” in perfect time for the large front wheel of the semi to collide with my passenger door.

Blessed. That is all I can say. Things could have been a lot worse and we were unbelievably blessed to have the damage, although bad, not nearly as horrible as it could have been. I could sit and be upset about the damage to my car but then I would be missing the greater picture of both mine and Stevo's safety. My car is drivable, no one is hurt, no glass is shattered, no fluids are leaking. I am not quite sure how much the damage is but I am going to assume it is somewhere around $5,000.00.

My lease on the car cannot be over fast enough. Although I must say that for an accident, the Infiniti holds up amazing. I hate having that first-hand experience to know that information but it is good to know that I can trust the vehicle I am driving to uphold a bad accident, a minor accident, and some dings, all the while keeping me and my passengers safe. I am not sure I will ever drive another vehicle, especially when I have children, knowing the safety and the quality of cars that Infiniti makes.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Bradley Cooper.

Every day, or rather at least once a week, someone at my work sees a famous person. Our office is located off of Avenue of the Stars, every tour bus passes by to notate how it has been in movies and is also where Creative Artists Agency (CAA) is located. CAA shares a building with us and in turn, we tend to reap the benefits of frequent celebrity sightings. I have worked here for two years and in that time have never personally seen a famous person without another co-worker pointing them out to me, until today.

Just two days ago I had asked Joanne at Coffee Bean if she has seen anyone famous in there lately, they usually frequent the Coffee Bean with their agents. She replied, “actually, Bradley Cooper was in here today.” Today, while breaking with my friend Laura, we were sitting down in the lobby when I looked up and my eyes became fixed on a man, “Laura, that is Bradley Cooper!” You may not be able to sense any form of excitement in text but I was excited. I had spotted a celebrity for the very first time, and he was a GOOD one to spot! As I saw him entering the Coffee Bean from outside I didn’t even have time to talk to Laura before I catapulted to the other entrance of Coffee Bean. Laura shouted, “are you getting something from Coffee Bean?” … “I am now!”

I rushed into the line, nonchalantly, as 6’1” of pure sexiness stood inches from me. Okay, I realize I sound like a 12-year-old girl at a Hanson concert, but I was excited. He leaned over to speak to his agent, “I’d like a mint Moroccan tea latte,” but not without turning to me and saying, “I’m sorry, excuse me,” before sitting down. He took off his sunglasses, pulled out his iPad and I began to doubt myself, “Is that really him?” Then I heard his name and all I was confirmed. I asked Laura to take a picture but she was embarrassed and left to wait for me outside. While standing waiting for my drink I decided I would take my own picture… and here you go:

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The Dark Side.

Yet again.

I can't stand keeping my hair the same for any length of time. When it's brown, I want it blonde. When it's blonde I want it brown; short I want it long...and the list goes on. Blonde hair was fun but Stevo mentioned because my face is pretty (awe we love him) the dramatic hair takes away from my face. So, that in combination with the fact that I was tired of fried hair, I'm dark again.

Saturday, after getting my hair done, we drove to hang out with all my girlfriends in what was deemed the, "Besties and Testies party." I love those girls and it was great to see them and have them meet Stevo.

Life is grand. He is grand.


I am not one to believe in coincidences; if something happens, there is a direct or indirect reason related to it, or at least that is how my brain operates. On Saturday night Stevo and I went to see Morrissey. The previous time we went downtown to see P!nk, we took the subway and decided to do that again. After all, who doesn’t like a cheap and quick way to get from point A to point B in Los Angeles. On our way back we met these two guys that were probably the highlight of our night. Dan and Kenny were great. They were funny, they entertained us on the subway, and made us laugh. As we parted and were waiting in the subway for our next train, Stevo said, “Do you think we will ever see them again?” Los Angeles has millions of people, somewhere around 3 million, the odds of seeing two people we met on a subway again, not knowing any of their common interests would be slim to none... right?

Greg Laswell, one of my favorite singers, talks about when he was on the Subway system in New York and how for a brief moment the two cars that are passing in opposing positions, line up and you get a quick glimpse of the people in the other car. What do they like? Where are they going? So many random questions that pop in a person’s head, only this time, we had actually met these men. Last night while at the grocery store, a random one between our two houses, I ran in to get some butter and ice cream for cookies we were going to make. While standing in the aisle debating over which butter was better, we made our decision and headed towards the check out when low and behold, we ran into Dan. What are the odds, he questioned. We exchanged hellos and went our separate ways.

Stevo turned to me and said, is it odd if I go and get his number? I mean, we have ran into him twice in a 4 day period in a city as large as LA. As I encouraged him to go find Dan, Dan was on the other side of the store looking for us, for the same reason.

I don’t believe that it is coincidence when we meet people.

I don’t know what Dan and Kenny will do for our lives, or what we may do for theirs, but I do know that there was a prompting and a reason that we had a second encounter.

Friday, March 1, 2013


I've been slacking. I understand and I apologize, life has gotten the best of me. Let's see, I flew to Washington and took pictures of baby Henry, came home and had awesome news of a promotion and raise.


On Tuesday I start in the position of IT purchasing and for anyone that knows me or my history at this company, I'm stoked to finally have a REAL position. With that being said, after having a superbly amazing day on Tuesday, I found out my aunt passed away on Wednesday. Life sure has its ups and downs but I suppose that's all part of learning and growing.

As for growing...I've decided I want my hair longer again...and dark. Blondes have fun but I'm sick of having fried hair :)

My world... my thoughts

I can't apologize if you don't like what you read I can only apologize that you stumbled on my page.