Thursday, January 15, 2015

Lessons in Adulthood.

I've always liked change but perhaps I use the excuse of change when things get too difficult to continue. Perhaps deep down I am seeking for a way out. Over the course of the past six months I've been placed in situations which have been completely out of my comfort zone. I've realized that although I'm physically been present in certain cities, I've never been 100% mentally present, always looking for the next big adventure. Attempting to analyze the situation and learn from the circumstances I am currently in, I have thought long and hard about how I handle things. 

Since my freshman year of college, in 2000, I have lived on my own. I've never been a fan of roommates, and I love to have personal time. Over the course of the last six months my personal time has become quite minimal and I've been forced or more or less placed in necessary situations where I am living amongst other people. I am also a person that doesn't like to ask others for help. I tend to try and figure things out on my own and if I can't figure them out on my own, I give up. I suppose I've always been a strong person, asking for help or relying upon others was always something I identified with as a sign of weakness. I love to serve others, but I have a hard time allowing others the opportunity to serve me. 

Last night while at Institute, a friend made the point that perhaps these trials and these challenges are only preparing me for marriage. Once married, I will have somebody by my side 24/7. I suppose at 32, if I'm never going to learn how to live with people, it should be now. When disagreements arise in a living situation, you can't retreat to your own place, rather you are forced to deal with the situation. I am the type of person when upset, that needs a little space. Although I am quite verbal and not afraid of confrontation, perhaps this time of my life is to show me how to immediately discuss issues rather than sitting on them.

As I look back upon even my experience in Switzerland, I made a list of things that I learned while there. Every lesson learned could directly apply to a marital relationship. In retrospect if this is all just to prepare me for me eternal companion, then it was worth it.

My world... my thoughts

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