Closing the Door.

A range of emotions come flooding through when you lose someone close to you. I'm not sure I've even processed anything that has occurred. Mom and I have been going through her things the last two days and although there have been moments of joy and laughter, there have also been moments of sadness as I picture Goose in her clothes, in her room, on her couch.

Yesterday while going through things I found her wig, put it on, and waited for mom to turn around and see me. She took so long to look up that I had forgotten the wig was on my head. She looked up and couldn't stop laughing. I put on some of Goose's lipstick, her fanny pack, and we just laughed. Tender moments like this in the midst of hard times are just what I needed.

Today as we cleaned up the last of her things I found myself overly emotional. It hit me. She's gone. This is the last time I will be in her room. The last night I'll open door A17 and see her big eyes light up. The last time I'll see her dentures sitting in a jar by the sink. The last time I'll smell her.

Taking the last load to the car, we locked door A17 and tears filled my eyes. Goodbye my sweet Goose.

Goodbye.