Are You Mormon?

There are countless times throughout the day that I will see people and wonder, “Are they Mormon?” Ok, maybe that is a bit of a stretch, maybe this only happens once a week, but nonetheless, it happens. On Monday I was in a department meeting and a new guy was standing over in the corner, as he was introduced I glanced over to see him standing with what appeared to be the outline of garments. Sometimes it is difficult to know if they are garments since most men wear an undershirt with their dress shirts but there was something more distinctive about his shirt, it had the “eternal smiley face” appearance. From that moment on I found myself watching his every move to determine if he could be LDS. Should I ask? Is that awkward? Will he say something else that would lead me to believe he was Mormon? The questions and thoughts began to flood through.

Yet again this morning, with another co-worker, I found myself asking the same question. My friend Laura and I go to Starbucks in the morning (don’t worry, I don’t get coffee). At any rate, we passed by Roger, a co-worker that is constantly happy and smiling. I stopped and asked, “Do you ever get mad?” He replied, “Yes, why do you ask?” I went on to tell him that he is always smiling. I asked if he had kids, he replied with 4. Laura then asked him if he wanted some coffee, he declined. As we walked away I turned to Laura and said, “Do you think he is Mormon?” She said, “I thought the same thing because he had 4 kids.”

It is funny what marks or deems people a certain faith or type of persona. I had analyzed these qualities, he didn’t drink coffee, he has 4 kids, he is always smiling, and he gives the appearance of a Mormon, yes, sadly, there is an appearance. I decided that since Roger and I are friends, I could ask him and settle things for once. I approached his office and said, “Random question, are you Mormon?” He replied, “Why, because I have 4 kids?” He chuckled and went on to tell a Mormon joke. I stopped him before he could continue and said, “Wait, I am Mormon.” I didn’t care what joke he was going to say but the last thing I wanted was for him to feel awkward after telling a joke and finding out that I myself was Mormon. He followed with the typical response I always get when I tell someone I joined the church 4 years ago, “did you join for a guy?” “Nope, I joined for myself.”

He said that people ask his wife all of the time if she is Mormon too. They don’t drink, they never have, he only drinks coffee occasionally, they have 4 kids, and he is always happy. Man is he a great candidate for the missionaries :) I suppose if they “randomly” showed up at his door it would serve for an interesting conversation in the office!