All the Greats in Three's.

The other day Stevo asked me what Goose sounded like, how she said my name, how she talked. I took a moment to think and I became frustrated, it has only been a month and I can’t remember her voice. With that in mind, I can’t remember the last she actually spoke since she was pretty quiet her last few months. I miss her every day and can’t stop thinking about her. Trying to come to grips and cope with a loss is never easy, especially when multiple losses occur. Someone once said that the greats go in 3’s, I lost that number 3 on Friday night.

Eric Billings was one of the most amazing men I knew. I met him four years ago when he was a high councilman in the ward I was baptized in. Working with Eric gave me the opportunity to grow and understand an amazing father, husband, and leader. His smile was contagious and his laughter filled a room. I recently introduced Stevo to him and stated that I had always wanted to marry one of Eric’s sons just so that I could have Eric as a father. Death is never pleasant but I think the most shocking and hard ones to accept are the unexpected ones. As I called my second father, David Beckstead, we talked about losing Eric and our gratefulness for the Plan of Salvation and to know that we will see each other again.

I hide loss really well, which is not a good thing. I suppose I don’t know how to handle it and one day I am just going to break down. This is my format to inform anyone that knows me that when I lose someone close to me, regardless of how I may appear on the outside, I am really hurting on the inside. I am a softie.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words and I would like to add that it is worth a thousand emotions as well. Seeing a picture of Eric and his smile, of Goose, of my aunt, a flood of emotions run through me as memories flash through the catalog in my mind. Heaven has gained a lot of amazing people within the past two months and I can’t wait to see them all again.