What Dreams May Come.

I used to watch movies like, “What Dreams May Come,” and truly hope that I had that control over my own life. If you haven’t seen the movie, Robin Williams loses his entire family in a car accident which kills his wife and two children, and is left alone.  In his quiet moments he learns that only through his dreams he is able to see his entire family and what if those dreams could be a reality. The movie is quite touching and if you haven’t see it, I highly recommend you add it to your Netflix queue.

 

I woke up this morning, and thought to myself, “I had some horrible dreams last night.” I couldn’t remember the dreams, I couldn’t remember what they were about, I only remembered that they left me feeling uneasy when I woke up.  Whenever that happens my brain begins to analyze what I may have eaten the prior night to cause such dreams.

 

It has always amazed me how certain things in life send your brainwaves to recall different memories. As I was standing at the copy machine this morning, my mind began to wonder about a wedding I had just been booked to shoot in July. One thing led to another and I thought about the last time I shot a wedding in San Diego, how Goose loved pictures, was she still alive when I shot that wedding…

 

PAUSE.

 

I remembered my dream. I vividly remember my dream down to the jacket Goose was wearing. It had purples and golds, accompanied by her black standard pants she wore. It was my birthday and there was a surprise party.  I remember walking into a room and there was Goose, my mom, my friends, and additional family members. Shocked, I looked at my mom and said is this real, Goose is dead. She went on to say that she knew she wanted to have a good surprise for my birthday and the only way she could do that was to tell me Goose had passed away, keep her hidden these past few months, and then bring her to my birthday.

 

Feelings of shock and anger both crossed my mind. Why would she do something so cruel? I suppose that was my subconscious telling me that she is still here, I don’t want her to be gone. This weekend is Mother’s Day and we are having a ceremony for Goose, something we didn’t have after she passed in February. I pray this weekend goes smoothly and it isn’t a field of waterworks from my eyes.