Jealousy.

I have never thought myself to be a jealous person, I suppose no one ever finds themselves to be jealous, but this weekend caused me to analyze my actions.  I asked Stevo the other day if there was anything about me that annoyed him or frustrated him. He looked at me in hesitance and said, “really?”

“Yes, really.”

 

Although it is never fun to hear the things that you need to improve on, it is always good to try and learn, make yourself better, and through that, grow. Throughout my relationships, I am usually the person that has male friends, that boyfriends become jealous of, and in turn add strain on the relationship.  Stevo is the first time I have had a dose of my own medicine per say.  There is something about that man that attracts a lot of girls.  They like him and they have no shame in showing that.  The logical side of me says, “Ok cool- my boyfriend is attractive, that is a compliment to me.” The irrational side of me says, “Who are these girls- let’s eliminate them.”

 

A friend posted an article about 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy- it’s great- go read it. (http://worldobserveronline.com/2012/04/25/15-things-you-should-give-up-to-be-happy/) Anyway, it mentions that we cause ourselves to have pain, stress, and suffer, because we hold on to so many things.  Although I feel that I constantly read things, think they are awesome, then 5 seconds later forget what I have read and stress out or get upset about something, this article really makes me want to improve myself.  “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

 

We create things in our mind that aren’t real.  How powerful the mind can be.  We are self-defeating, and in turn, become insecure.  Last night I told a friend that every time I time a picture, I think it is horrible, I am never satisfied.  She said that was something all artists struggle with. If only we saw what others saw, in ourselves, and in our potential.