Who Do I Want to Be?

Sometimes my mind is all over the place. Scratch that, a lot of the times my mind is all over the place. I find myself constantly making to-do lists of things that I don't want to forget. I suppose with my calling of RS President that list of things never seems to dwindle. Three important questions tend to have a running tab within my mind;

1. Who am I?
2. Who do I want to be?
3. How do I need to act to become that person?

The first two are easy. We grow up thinking we know the answer to who we want to be and at different stages in our life who we are changes.  I watched this documentary called Happy not to long ago. The first question people were asked all around the world was, "What do you want most out of life?" The answer was to be happy. So, how do we become happy? As mechanical as this response may seem to some, to me, being happy means living the gospel, having a personal relationship with my Savior and Heavenly Father. So now my question for myself is then, if happiness is living the gospel and having a personal relationship with the Savior and Heavenly Father, two things I am actively doing, why am I not happy right now?

My only explanation is that I am letting worldly things get the best of me. My heart is sad and I am having the hardest time moving past things, no matter how hard I try. My work is not the best, I am not challenged and have become the punching bag for the HR lady. I have decided to end school, it is just not what I feel I want to do anymore, and again, I don't feel challenged.  As you can see, my mind is going crazy, where to go, what to do. I finish school in November, I am month-to-month on my apartment lease, and my job is simply paying the bills. I suppose my next question would be, where do I want to go? And how do I need to act to become the person I want to be.

Life changes, it throws new curve balls in that change up our desired path. I do not know what the future holds but I do know that I have a lot more joy, happiness, and direction, even in the midst of trials, than I would if I didn't have this gospel.