Nothing Ever Comes Fast.

Unlike the ripping-off of a band aid, important news or decisions rarely come fast. I have been sick to my stomach and worried about my job since yesterday when I was pulled into the HR office to discuss my time card. I work from home/my phone and clock in and out when I do that-which I gather would have been fine had I asked for permission but since I never asked to do that, and just assumed, I'm in a heap of trouble. 

Sitting in anticipation of their final decision or action to the situation has left me feeling like I just had a horrible break up. I can't eat. I can't sleep. It makes me wonder why we as humans do this to ourselves. These types of situations are completely in our control. Only I can control how I react to the predicament I am in. Only I can change how I act in the future and no one can change the past or take anything back. With that being said, why do I worry over things that I can't control? Why not just think of ways that I an improve myself and become a better person? 

I had a moment of analysis last night as I decided I was this horrible person, that isn't a good employee, nor a good RS president, and the list went on. There is so much that I need to improve on in my life, although I know there will always be things I need to improve on, I beat myself up on my weaknesses. 

Lists. They are efficient. I made one today of some goals that I have. When it's in writing it tends to hold me accountable. I'm struggling with reading my scriptures, not just forcing myself to read them but actually reading and enjoying them. I've become lazy. Lazy with many aspects of my life and I don't like the direction this is heading. Only I can take control. Only I can alter the path I am headed down.