Putting Down the Pride.

My father always used to tell me, "Nicole, sometimes you're going to have to put aside your Priest pride." Truth be told he said this in regards to dating!

I can be stubborn. In fact, I think I am one of the most stubborn people I have ever met outside of my father. This weekend was one of the hardest times I had to lay down my "Priest pride" and do what I actually needed to do. The Big Sur international marathon was on Sunday. Saturday I woke up feeling just fine and drove up to Monterey California. At the event expo I decided to get some tape for my knee because it hurt during my last long run. I taped my knee that night and felt fine.

3:00 am my alarm went off and I felt great. I showered and geared up for the run. Made sure I had everything, kneeled to pray and made my way out the door and to the bus that left at 4:00 am to the start line.

40 degrees. It was cold but I still felt fine and when your adrenaline is pumping, you somewhat forget the cold.

6:30 am. They called for wave 2 to line up. I got into the line with the 4:15 pace group, which means if I stuck with them I would finish the marathon in 4 hours and 15 minutes. He warned us not to go out too fast and that the first 8 miles were downhill. Downhill my arse! It was rolling up and down, nonetheless, I was good. I felt great...but my knee had another plan. I decided not to listen to my iPod rather instead I would listen to the coaching of the pace group leader.

8 miles down. This was good. My knee was starting to hurt but I was ignoring it. He told us to think of our inspiration for running as we approached the 2 mile uphill at mile 10. Goose. I had her name on my bib number and I would think of her. Look up to the horizon he said, looking at your feet shortens your stride. I did just that.

No walking. I wouldn't let myself was up the hill. Slow and steady wins the race kept going in my mind. I had a good pace, it was no 8 minute mile but I was keeping a good 10 minute mile pace up the hill. The hill was endless. I kept waiting to see the mile marker for mile 11 but nothing. Part of me thought maybe they don't have mile markers on the hill, and then I saw it. Mile 11 great, it's only been a mile, one more to go. I turned on my iPod and kept my steady pace until I reached the top, mile 12! The two mile downhill was next. My knee started popping but I had made it this far and up the hardest hill of the course, I refused to quit. Crossing over Bixby Bridge with a man playing the grand piano was breathtaking as the waves crashed on the coast.

Mile 15. The popping became intense and the pain even worse. I pulled off to the side trying to stretch and pray. A bystander looked at my bib and shouted, "You got this Goose." A medic came over and asked if they could help. Choked up and in pain, I let them tape my knee, but I wasn't ready to give up.

Mile 18. I couldn't do it anymore and I knew I had to quit. I tried walking to see if I could at least still finish but the main was just as excruciating. I swallowed my pride and realized finishing wasn't worth a knee injury for the rest of my life. With tears in my eyes I pulled over and told the medics I couldn't make it.

As the medics took me to finish line I watched the pace group that I had been with cross. Pure sadness. I felt like such a loser and I am still having a hard time accepting this weekend. I see a doctor today and hopefully get some insight as to what happened.

Pride. It sure is hard to let it down.

Game Time.

As I laid on the bed in my doctor’s office, I began to think of every possible thing that could go wrong this weekend. I tend to be a pessimist when it comes to myself, an optimist when it comes to others, healthy I know haha! I have been seeing my acupuncturist a lot lately in preparation for my run. With being sick, having my stomach issues, and now having some knee issues, I wanted to make sure I was taken care of for Sunday.

She decided she wanted to cup me another time. Those unfamiliar with cupping (I was! In fact, after being cupped I was at Disneyland and felt some pain on my back. I lifted my shirt to ask Stevo is he could see anything from where she cupped. His mouth slightly dropped and he said, let me take a picture. I looked like a human lady bug with giant hickey-like marks all over my back.) That is normal. Cupping releases the tension you have in your back by a suction on different parts of your body. The suction loosens up tension and takes away pain… and leaves purple markings in the aftermath. Knowing I would be wearing a tank top for the run, but also knowing I would rather be in tip-top shape, I let her cup me one last time. Here is to running like a human lady bug :)

She cupped my knee and did some pressure points on my stomach for my knee. The body is such a miraculous thing! Everything works together as a giant system and if something is not working, other areas can help out. I feel ready. As ready as I can be. I am confident that my knee will be fine… the cold that I started to come down with on Tuesday is gone, (thanks to a blessing) and the only other obstacle I have to face are the hills… minor detail!

Tomorrow AM starts the drive up the coast, the race expo, a nice fish dinner with rice and veggies, and a 4:00 am commute on the bus to the start line, with an official start of 6:45 am. Happy race weekend!

Training.

I had a friend that recently wrote a blog about the birth of her first child. When she was telling the story, she was talking about training herself and learning everything that she could possibly learn prior to his arrival. She likened it to the preparation of her son to a marathon and how a person wouldn't run a marathon without any training. As I read the words on her blog, I started to get nervous as I thought that I really have not been training.

Before Goose passed away I made a decision that I would run this marathon. Goose loved anything that made her legs move. She had a saying, if you don't keep these bones a movin' they'll quit on you. I don't know if it's the fact that it wasn't my own money that registered for this race, I raised about $2000 for a charity, but I just haven't had the motivation to train as hard as I have for any of my previous marathons. Nonetheless, I told myself I at least had to get in two long runs. The first of the long runs was a 15 mile run to Santa Monica. The latter was supposed to be 20 down to Santa Monica. I began my run Saturday, the weather was horrible everything That could possibly go against me had occurred leaving me with only 18 miles.

Now, with just over a few days left until the run, I am beginning to feel like I should have prepared better. I feel like its the final days before my wedding, I've got my dress (race outfit), hired the DJ (put songs on my iPod, and need to plan the meal (for the night before the run).

Wish me luck.

Not Everyone is Going to Like You.

This is something I have come to accept. In life, not everyone is going to like you. Recently I received a phone call that a status that I had on Facebook was deemed offensive by another person. Now, I find myself to be a pretty conservative person I don't necessarily post controversial things I don't discuss politics but one thing that I just won't shy away from is the fact that my family are not members and therefore they may say or do something that I think is funny and it's a part of my life.

For anyone that knows my brother he is spent a lot of time in and out of jail. Therefore, as I was texting my brother today to try and figure out what we can get our father for his birthday, My brother had randomly text me a picture text message. The picture noted something along the lines of how he wished his stories of handcuffs involved sex and not police. My response, So we should get dad a stripper for his birthday then. The fact is, my brother sent me something that I found was funny and in turn, I posted it to my Facebook. Although I do apologize if anything I ever say or do offends somebody I don't necessarily mean that Everyone should simply cater to what they think will be approved by somebody else. In my calling as Relief Society president I understand that I am in the spot light, I also understand and have understood since I received my calling that we simply can't judge other people. I guess I make this post because sometimes, even I included, we post judgments on other people. Something that someone may find offensive that I have done or said perhaps they don't know the entire meaning behind a story perhaps it's only funny to me. I suppose that also means I should take into consideration how other things could be taken out of context. The moral of the story is, you're never going to please everyone. I obey the commandments, I read my scriptures, I attend the temple, I fulfill my calling and yes, I have a sense of humor.

Drained.

Last night I thought I was nearing a nervous breakdown. I think we all go through those moments where we realize there is just too much to do in too little time.

I've always been good at keeping busy and filling my schedule to the brim and although that is grand, there comes a time when you need to make sure you are taking care of yourself as well.

Last night as I was rushing from work to a meeting, then home to change, then off to a mission call opening (first one I've seen) and finally to a friend's art showing, I realized that I overcommit myself. There are days where there is nothing to do and others where you can't find time to breathe. Tomorrow will be another hectic day as I jam in a 20 mile run, a baptism, a bridal shower, a photo shoot got head shots, and a birthday party.

As I look at my eternal perspective I know that the small things really don't matter and that all will work out as planned but for now in the moment as I am only human, I am a scatter-brain!

16 days until show time. Aka marathon time.

And that's a McWrap.

I have been slacking. Not in my REAL life, but for sure in my interweb life as I have failed to update my blog on a daily basis.

I am sure some exciting things have occurred, but rather than spending an hour trying to remember them I will post about the one thing I can remember, and that is my invite to be a plus one at a Paramount party.

When my friend Heather asked if I wanted to be her plus one, I immediately said yes. Paramount studies? Most only get to see what it looks like from outside the walls but we had an invite to go on to the lot, and that was exciting, at least in my book. I asked what my attire needed to be because unfortunately, I haven’t been clubbing or out to Hollywood parties in oh, never. She told me to dress like a hipster, and since that isn’t necessarily in my wardrobe, I decided to wear some green skinny jeans and an adorable top I got from Anthropologie a few years ago. The party was for the “McWrap,” McDonald’s new healthy option for fast food. There was a large space of the parking lot tented and decorated, lined with a red carpet and paparazzi. As we entered the venue, the décor was amazing; I felt as if I were in a farmer’s market with flowers and vegetables galore.

“Would you like a drink,” said a young lady in black as she held out two smoothie options, “non-dairy or dairy,” I grabbed a smoothie, took a sip, then turned to my friend, and said, “these don’t have alcohol in them, do they?” She laughed, “How funny would that be if they gave you the option of dairy and non-dairy but not alcoholic or non-alcoholic.”

The menu included, “World famous” French fries, the mcwrap, and smoothies. As we looked around there was nothing but models. Great publicity. Gather a bunch of tall skinny models and claim that they love the new “McWrap.” I have been brushing up on my stars and celebrity magazines so I was proud of myself to notice quite a few faces. Every reality star including the Kardashians were there, many of the women from the Real Housewives, and … Zac Efron. I must say, I have been pleasantly surprised at the height of most people I meet in Hollywood. It amazes me that you always think stars are tall and built. Although I am not here to rain on anyone’s hopes and dreams of what the stars are really like, I can say, that most are short! I can also say that the Hollywood scene is not my scene. These stars are just people, that is all they are… people that like to drink and do drugs and smoke cigarettes. If I wouldn’t hang out with absurdly drunk people on a daily basis, why would I want to hang out with them just because they are famous?

This one guy approached my friends and began telling a story. I recall tuning him out after I had eyeballed his leather pants. He continued on with his schpeal about who knows what and was frequently trying to involve me in the conversation. I assume my lack of interest bothered him. He began his next statement with, “I am an actor and producer and I have been successful at it, I am not saying this to brag, I usually don’t tell people that, I am just saying it to validate my statements.” I had no clue who the man was, and I frankly didn’t care.

I left the party, with vegetables as my parting gift, and went home. On Saturday morning I had met back up with Heather to go shopping when she was telling a story about one of the guys from the night before (the not so interesting story man). She goes on to say his name, Tom Welling, which still didn’t ring a bell… until I pulled up his picture and saw that he was superman on Smallville. My point is, people are people, whether they are famous or not, and although we have built them up to be the characters they portray in shows and movies, they are just like every other person and if they are annoying to be around, or embarrassing drunks, the fact that they are famous shouldn’t redeem them from being idiots.