What is my Purpose?

Sometimes I find myself wondering, "What is my purpose?"  What was I put on this earth to do, to accomplish, to see, who was I supposed to meet, to influence, to learn from? Questions like this tend to ponder my mind quite frequently as I am left staring in to space without answers. I was definitely unhappy sitting at a desk job from 9-5, but I wasn't unhappy with the money. I can't seem to base my decisions in life upon money alone however because we all know that doesn't buy happiness.  I don't feel like we were put on this earth to work our lives away without making any impact as with anything however some people just like to skate by with life, they don't need the challenge or the push to be extraordinary.  I however do. I can't waste my life away simply earning a paycheck, I need challenge, I need growth, I need growing pains. So, if I need these pains then why do I sit here wondering why things are difficult, after all, it is all a part of the plan.

Hard work has never come easy, it wouldn't be called hard otherwise. I suppose for myself, narrowing down what I want to accomplish in life is most important and fitting to my current situation.  If I know what I want, I can more effectively work towards accomplishing that.  Last night I went to a charity for a friend with cancer.  Dane Cook, along with Drew Carey, Skylar Stone, Jeff Ross, Christopher Titus, Bobby Lee, and Bryan Callen, were the entertainment for the night.  Although I didn't feel Dane was as humorous as his name holds him to be, it was interesting and more of a motivation speaking engagement as he said he got where he is because he willed it to happen. When we think positively and we actively focus on a goal, I believe wholeheartedly that we can achieve what we want.

I also want to date. I know, writing it down is like the worst thing you can ever do, it will come when you least expect it yada yada yada, but honestly, this dating in the church is a head ache and has really exhausted me to the point of no return. If there is an idiot, a man that doesn't know what he wants, a man that can send the most mixed signals, I have dated him. I often wonder if I will ever find my match or if I will simply end up the old cat lady. The last 5 years of my life, since joining the church, have been the most frustrating when it comes to dating and if there was anything I could change about the church, it would be the men, there I said it. I can't possibly be the issue, especially when the issue started when I joined the church.

With that being said, I tend to think I know what I want when it comes to men but apparently, I don't. Therefore, how am I sure that when I make my decision on what I want career wise, that I can be confident that is actually what I need. Man, when I sit down and have breakfast with God one day, I sure am going to have a laugh at all these hurdles and jumps that seemed as if they were the end of the world.