Blessings.

I get emailed these little daily gems every now and then, depending on whether or not the automatic system decides to email me, and today there were a multitude of snippets from different church talks that really hit home.  One in particular is a talked called, "An High Priest of Good Things to Come," by Elder Holland.

My declaration is that this is precisely what the gospel of Jesus Christ offers us, especially in times of need. There is help. There is happiness. There really is light at the end of the tunnel. It is the Light of the World, the Bright and Morning Star, the “light that is endless, that can never be darkened.” ³ It is the very Son of God Himself. In loving praise far beyond Romeo’s reach, we say, “What light through yonder window breaks?” It is the return of hope, and Jesus is the Sun. ⁴ To any who may be struggling to see that light and find that hope, I say: Hold on. Keep trying. God loves you. Things will improve. Christ comes to you in His “more excellent ministry” with a future of “better promises.” He is your “high priest of good things to come.”

To say I have had a lot on my mind lately would be an understatement and although I do not understand much within this life, I do have faith in the Lord that He does know the plan. There is no better way than to feel the love of the Lord than when you are on your knees praying and in the temple.  There is a peace that I cannot put to words when I am in the temple. Amongst all the chaos, questions, and doubts that I have, within the walls of the temple I find an indescribable peace. 

"Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come."

Everything happens when it is supposed to happen. Granted yes, we do have agency, but rest assured, the Lord will never lead you astray when you are seeking him and standing in holy places.  All promised blessings will come to you in his timing. 

Say No to Sugar!

I did a photo shoot last weekend of a little girl that was supposed to have a "cake smash," wherein she would go to town on a cake and those were her 1st birthday photos! Contrary to what any normal human would think, she was NOT a fan of sugar. I on the other hand am a huge fan of sugar, licorice, chocolate, sprinkles, you name it! Over the past two months I have been dealing with some stomach issues which have caused me to refine my food choices and frankly it's been a mess.  As healthy as it is, I know, pizza is my favorite! My stomach on the other hand has suddenly decided it is NOT it's favorite.  I continue to be left without answers regarding my situation and my stomach (after an endoscopy, CT scan, two hour breath test, and antibiotics). I started acupuncture this week in hopes that perhaps Eastern medicine may have a solution for me.  At any rate, the ONE food that I am completely not allowed to have, sugar.

I have tried to rebel.

I have tried to just eat a little bit.

However, I have come to the realization that sugar and me are just not friends like we used to be and I can't take the constant pains and unhappiness I am left with. SO, I have decided to be obedient! This will be hard since my birthday is in 13 days...heaven help me.

Mold Me.

I decided this week to make a promise to the Lord to read my scriptures, daily.  I am in turn given the promise that through my daily pondering of the scriptures, understanding and enlightenment will be given unto me. Something so simple that I tend to have let the busyness of the world get away with me and I have neglected my scriptures, at least a continual pondering of them. I thought my calling as Gospel Doctrine Teacher last year would have whipped me in shape, then perhaps my calling as Relief Society president, it wasn't until I was faced with a heavy heart and some in-depth questions that I opened my eyes and truly recognized the importance of upholding my end of the bargain, to read my scriptures! It's like a diet, the only person you are letting down when you cheat, is yourself.

I have also been praying for charity lately, and to be able to see others through the eyes of the Lord, something I constantly struggle with. I remember even prior to becoming a member I would listen to a talk or hear a scripture and think, "Oh that would be really good for so and so." It makes me laugh because we all know that when you divert the attention from yourself to another person, YOU are the actual person that needs the advice or counsel.

This morning while reading a talk I came across this statement: "The key is to have our eyes wide open to our own faults and partially closed to the faults of others--not the other way around! The imperfections of others never release us from the need to work on our own shortcomings." 

I have a lot of shortcomings, many I am well aware of and others I have no doubt the Lord will make me aware of :) We tend to always ask for blessings or pray for things but neglect to refine ourselves. For example, "Lord I want to get married, bring me a husband." Rather than saying, "Lord, prepare me to be the person I need to be in order to have a worthy husband." I have found myself on my knees more recently than any time in my life, not only praying to the Lord but sitting in silence and listening to the Lord. Praying that he would mold and shape me into the person that not I want to be, but the person that He would have me be.

If only we spent as much time working on ourselves as we did focusing on the faults and shortcomings of others, we would allow the Lord to work in our lives, to make our weak things become strong. NEWSFLASH: We ALL have shortcomings, whether we choose to accept this fact or not is our own agency and free will.

Do You Ever Wish You Weren't Mormon?

Immediately as I sat down at work today a co-worker asked if I had seen the Piers Morgan's interview with Mitt Romey's five sons last night. I stated I didn't have a T.V. thinking it would end the conversation however she continued on to tell me about the interview.  Not that I didn't want to talk about the church, I just wasn't in the mood to have a debate regarding my faith. When it comes to religion, especially my faith and being a Latter-Day Saint, I have learned that quite possibly anything could come out of a person's mouth and due to Mitt, there has been a lot of talk regarding the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She continued to tell a story, about how Piers said, "Well, all of you are good looking strapping young men, who don't drink, do drugs, or have premarital sex... have you ever wished you weren't Mormon?"

One brother pipped up and said, "It's working for us thus far."

This question made me think of the numerous times people have asked me why I joined the church; Was it for someone? Did something bad happen in my life that made me join? etc. I will be the first to admit that life is nothing short of easy, in fact, it is constant battles as we continue to grow and progress throughout this life, trying to become what the Lord has in store for us, however, no battle or trial has made me question, "maybe I shouldn't be a member of this church anymore."  I would go on to state that since my membership in the church my relationship with my Heavenly Father has developed immensely and in turn has strengthened me during the trials and battles that we all are promised to face.

I am human, I stumble, we all stumble, but I have never wished for a even a split second that I was not Mormon.

Living IN the Great and Spacious Building.

I have read 1 Nephi more than any other book within the Book of Mormon, in fact, I would go on to state that a majority of Latter-Day Saints have read this chapter more than any other as they continually quest to read the Book of Mormon from start to finish and somewhere around the way they lose track of their goal.  I have been guilty of this every time I think I am going to read from beginning to end. While reading through it again, I became fixated on the great and spacious building and how anyone that reads this immediately thinks, "I am not IN the great and spacious building... that is everyone else."  Then I read this quote by Elder Boyd K. Packer:

In 1 Nephi 8, read about Lehi’s dream.
You may think that Lehi’s dream or vision has no special meaning for you, but it does. You are in it; all of us are in it.Lehi’s dream or vision of the iron rod has in it everything a Latter-day Saint needs to understand the test of life. Read the dream or vision carefully; then read it again. If you hold to the rod, you can feel your way forward with the gift of the Holy Ghost, conferred upon you at the time you were confirmed a member of the Church. The Holy Ghost will comfort you. You will be able to feel the influence of angels, as Nephi did, and feel your way through life.

The Book of Mormon has been my iron rod. Lehi saw great multitudes of people “pressing forward” toward the tree (1 Nephi 8:21).

The great and spacious building “was filled with people, both old and young, both male and female; and their manner of dress was exceedingly fine; and they were in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers towards those who had come at and were partaking of the fruit” (1 Nephi 8:27).

One word in this dream or vision should have special meaning to Latter-day Saints. The word is after. It was after the people had found the tree that they became ashamed, and because of the mockery of the world they fell away.

“And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost. …

“And great was the multitude that did enter into that strange building. And after they did enter into that building they did point the finger of scorn at me and those that were partaking of the fruit also.” That was the test; then Lehi said, “But we heeded them not” (1 Nephi 8:28, 33; emphasis added).

And that was the answer.

…instead of looking over into that spacious building, we are, in effect, living inside of it. That is your fate in this generation. You are living in that great and spacious building.

Dress modestly, attend your meetings, pay tithes, take the sacrament, honor the priesthood, read the scriptures, study the Book of Mormon, and pray—always pray. An unseen power will hold your hand as you hold to the iron rod.

Will this solve all your problems? Of course not! That would be contrary to the purpose of your coming into mortality. It will, however, give you a solid foundation on which to build your life (see Helaman 5:12).

The mist of darkness will cover you at times so much that you will not be able to see your way even a short distance ahead. You will not be able to see clearly. But with the gift of the Holy Ghost, you can feel your way ahead through life. Grasp the iron rod, and do not let go. (See 3 Nephi 18:25; D&C 9:8.)

You may think that Lehi’s dream or vision has no special meaning for you, but it does. You are in it; all of us are in it.

(Elder Boyd K. Packer, Finding Ourselves in Lehi’s Dream)

I want to always remember that an apostle of the Lord has counseled that the fate of this generation is to live inside the great and spacious building.

Inside.

This knowledge reminds me of the great importance of continually pressing forward toward the tree. In Lehi’s dream there is a principle to watch for. For every tactic of the adversary there is an equal answer from the Lord. Next to the river there is a path. Through the mist there is a rod of iron. Instead of the building there is the tree of life.

We have a choice. The river, the mist, and the building, or the path, the rod, and the tree. 

There IS a Plan.

I am thoroughly convinced that we go through different trials in life to refine and shape us into the person that the Lord has intended us to be. There is always two ways to handle any trial or obstacle we are faced, head on, or try and find a way out of dealing with things and in turn, find yourself in similar situations throughout your life. I will be the first to admit that I have been subject to both approaches and as enticing as the latter choice may be, we all know it is best to face our challenges head on, make necessary changes, and grow. The only way we ever spiritually progress and grow in this life is by making changes.

I have been faced with some tender moments lately, moments where I have been on my knees and in the temple seeking revelation and I know that the Lord does communicate to his children, the Lord does love each and every one of us, and he wants us to find peace and joy. In the midst of trials we may not necessarily see anything but the storm, but Heavenly Father has a plan, an eternal plan, and as we prepare ourselves now we will be ready and capable of taking on the storms of life.

Cameras.

I like cameras, I like smiling for cameras, I like being behind the camera, but I had never had a camera down my throat and into my stomach before yesterday.  I have been having stomach problems for quite some time.  I had a kidney stone in May of 2010,  ulcer in November of 2011, and now I am having stomach problems yet again.  I can't eat. So, I decided to go to a gastrointestinal doctor and get to the bottom of things.  Yesterday I went in for a surgical procedure where I went under (for my first time woohoo) and had a camera sent down my throat and into my stomach to find out what is going on! The doctor comes in and says, "Well, you don't have cancer." (Um... I didn't even know they were testing for cancer) then he proceeded to tell me that my stomach is inflamed, red, and they are sending some biopsies in for results. I should find out next week but right now I can't eat anything and it sucks. No matter what I eat I feel horrible!  Pizza was best friend and now, now, we are taking a break.

On to other news, Andi will be here in 11 days. The countdown has begun.

You Know Enough!

Two weeks ago I was officially called to be the Relief Society President of the Los Angeles YSA ward, formerly the LA 1st Ward. Although excited, I was quite overwhelmed and numerous times prayed to God with a, "Really?" statement which proceeded the, "I don't know enough!" thought. Then I remembered a talk given by Neil L. Andersen, "You Know Enough." I am a firm believer that when we are called to serve, we will not know it all, but there is no mistake in why we are called.  We are not called because we are perfect, we all called because we are imperfect and need to mold ourselves into what the Lord has for us.

Elder Andersen states: Our spiritual journey is the process of a lifetime. We do not know everything in the beginning or even along the way. Our conversion comes step by step, line upon line. We first build a foundation of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. We treasure the principles and ordinances of repentance,baptism, and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. We include a continuing commitment to prayer, a willingness to be obedient, and an ongoing witness of the Book of Mormon.

Right after I had a little breakdown, hey, I am human, I got the sweetest email from my boyfriend:

You'll do a great job I know and even if things might be hard at the beginning you'll see that good things will fall into place really quickly. God does not make mistakes, surely not with the second most important calling in the church. You'll do great I know and will be greatly blessed as you go forward with faith. And if you have worries you have a strong shoulder to lean on ;) 

He is adorable... BUT, he is also right with saying that things will all work out, and they have. I know I am in the beginning of my calling but I also know how inspired this work is and I am completely grateful to be used by the Lord in this capacity. 

Golden Ticket.

Recalling the children's story “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” President Uchtdorf said people were looking for a golden ticket in a candy bar. Unfortunately, the candy bar itself became an utter disappointment if it did not contain a gold ticket, he explained.

"So many people today are waiting for their own golden ticket — the ticket that they believe holds the key to the happiness they have always dreamed about. For some, the golden ticket may be a perfect marriage; for others, a magazine-cover home; or perhaps, freedom from stress and worry. There is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings."

The problem, he added, comes when a person puts their happiness on hold as they wait for some future event — or gold ticket — to appear.

"The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in the pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments."

_______________________________________________

I was reading this morning and I immediately thought of the world today, this girl at my work in particular, and how people want an immediate fix to their happiness.  Yesterday I was working later than I normally do and a co-worker came up to me to tell me all about this spiritual healing she had with shakras and gems and blah, blah, blah, yes, I pretty much tuned everything else out.  She went on to say that this woman, who charged her $120.00, told her about all her past lives and how she believes that is why we meet people and we feel connected to them because we knew them in a past life. 

I have to stop there because my instant thought is yes, pre-existence.  We knew people in pre-existence and we are reminded of them in this life by certain aspects of their personality and who they are. But as I look past that to her situation in general and how she believed this woman gave her happiness, it was somewhat saddening.  What an insult to our Savior for another person to believe that spirits and sprays and "healings" can make one happy and take away their problems in life.  First off, nothing can take away our trials, we are human, we will always be faced with trials, but we can have peace in the midst of our trials. I can't help but chuckle that people think Mormons are weird or out of the norm but things like these seances are completely acceptable... oh Los Angeles!

End of the Rope.

Do you ever feel like you are at the end of your rope? Like you are being stretched in every direction and you don't even have time to gasp for air? Although currently I am excited for time to pass, that is until July 27, and then time can go really slow for 5 weeks :), BUT... right now I feel like everything is a blur from day to day.

Almost a month ago my bishop pulled me in to his office and asked if I would accept the calling to be Relief Society president. Without hesitation I agreed.  Then I was to call counselors and teachers and decide what I wanted to do with the ward. What if I make the wrong choices, what if I don't listen to the spirit? All of these what-if's came into my head and I had to just take a few deep breathes and relax. I will officially get called on Sunday, exciting and nervous.

This past weekend I did just that, relax. I was supposed to go to Orange County to take pictures of my nephew but I wanted to run errands and take things easy because church meetings would start at 8am for me on Sunday. After running a few errands I decided to stop at a Goodwill in Glendale. I spent over an hour in there and got so many good gems. It was like everything I found, I wanted. I have never had such an awesome thrifting experience. As I was in line, and the cashier was taking quite some time to ring everything up, this old man was standing behind me.

"Well, I can't really afford this, but I suppose I will get it." referring to a sports coat he had in his hands.
This old man was amazing, adorable, and my heart had this feeling that without any hesitation I turned to the cashier and said, "I would like to buy his jacket for him." The cashier looked at me in amazement, and confusion, so much that I repeated myself two times.  Finally, I turned to the older man and said, "I would like to purchase your jacket for you." He looked at me puzzled and said, "Oh, that is sweet of you but you don't have to." Now I know I don't have to do anything, but I wanted to. I said, "No, I am serious, I want to buy your coat." He said, "But why?" I looked at him with a smile and simply said, "Because I felt like I should." His face turned from worry to excitement as he informed me that the coat is half-priced and it would only be $6.00. In all honesty, I couldn't have cared if the coat was $20, I had a prompting and I followed through. The cashier gave me my receipt and bags and the old man continued to stand there saying, "Thank you! Thank you so much. How can you be so beautiful and kind? Thank you."

I am sure I will never see that man again, but he will always leave an impression on my heart.  The feeling I had from helping him out was one of the most amazing feelings. He didn't expect anything, and I didn't expect anything, it was just an offer to help a stranger. I hope and pray that I may have the same impact on the sisters of my ward.  Although I may not get a chance to know each and every one of them, I hope that through the spirit I may leave an impression on their lives.

Things Happen When You're Obedient.

Sometimes I would love to be God for a day and just sit up there and watch all of us going every which way throughout our daily lives.  We often complain about rough patches or certain trials and when it comes down to it, for the most part, the choices we make, determine the situations we are placed in.  If only we saw the grand picture like our Heavenly Father, perhaps we would make necessary changes sooner.

This year has been full of lessons and blessings, of trials of faith and obedience.  It is amazing how many blessings the Lord is willing and ready to pour unto us, we just have to be ready and willing to accept them. We ask for prayers to be answered but we do nothing more on our part.  I love this quote I heard once; "We give fifty cent prayers and expect million dollar answers."

There are a few things that were holding me back in certain areas of my life, nothing large, but things I needed to overcome or learn from before the Lord would provide me with blessings, with his greater intent and purpose for my life. It is almost instantaneous, as I made the choice to live my life better, or to walk firmly in a new direction, I could immediately see why that choice was made. I dated a non-member for quite some time, we broke up and two months later I was endowed. Recently I made some daily life choices and that next Sunday, I was called to be Relief Socity president. 

I feel close to the spirit, inspired, and open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It never ceases to amaze me that when your ears are open to the spirit, the direct and distinct promptings of the spirit fill you completely. 

You're Never Lost if You Can See the Temple.

Great talk by the way: Read HERE

I will add to that and say, "You can never have a bad day when you're staring at the temple."

This morning I woke up feeling like crap. Close your ears fellas.
Bloated.
Volcanic eruptions on my face. (ok maybe that is an exaggerations but that is how I feel).

I went to make this new recipe called pumpkin bread in a bowl, healthy cereal thing, and it tasted like a dog biscuit. Then I put on a shirt that is a sheer material and ripped my shirt, of course while walking out the door which means I will have that rip in my shirt all day long.

There are two ways this day could go; I could be cranky and upset all day long, or I could smile and get over the fact that things didn't start off on the best foot.

I am covering for a girl this week, (a temp that is leaving on vacation for 10 days) a desk that I actually interviewed for so if I like it, I will be placed in this desk full-time, which let me add made the training awkward yesterday. At any rate, I got situated at the desk and looked up to see this:

It is foggy outside but if you look in the middle of the picture, you can see the beautiful Los Angeles temple. The biggest smile came on my face, it is going to be a good day, or 10 days for that matter as long as I can see the temple!

Did Someone Say Carnival?

I am planning my 30th birthday party which I feel is like planning a wedding! It is carnival themed and my awesome friend Nicole, no I am not referring to myself in third person :), she has this huge house in Orange and is also an event planner and with her master mind and attention to detail, this is going to be the party of the year! Goldfish, churros, soft serve machine, rainbow sprinkles, tacos, popcorn, darts and balloons, stuffed animals!!! Ahh, I get so excited thinking about it.

Things are good, I am happy!

Switzerland.

Is where I would like to be right now.

There is this guy... haha, I love stories that begin like that but unfortunately, mine is going to begin like that and I am not ashamed. In September I will hit my four year mark of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and up until this point in my life, as wonderful as people have been that I have met, there has always been something missing, either they weren't a member (minor detail hah jk) or they had traits that I would simply just learn to live with, or I would justify things about their personality or background.

He is great, he is wonderful, he has so many amazing qualities and there are countless times in the day where I just wish we were on the same time zone, in the same place.

He will be here in August, which seems forever away but until then, I am grateful that we get to continue getting to know each other without all the sometimes misleading physical factors.

Pregnant.

Is not what I am, but because of my best friend, has been something that has been on my mind heavily for the past year.  My best friend has been trying to conceive a baby for quite some time and my heart goes out to her and her husband.  One thing I have learned throughout this trying time is how much goes in to becoming a parent and how often people take it lightly or take it for granted.  I have no clue what will happen when I try to conceive but I do know that I have learned a lot from Cait.  Watching her dedication and faith, time after time as well as the sacrifices both her and her husband are making to bring a child in to the world, has given me so much respect and gratitude for motherhood and of course my dear friends.

It saddens me that people who do not deserve to have a child, or do not want to have a child, because after all, I am no judge to say that someone does not deserve a child, but those that could care less, get pregnant and those that desperately want to raise a child, are not given that opportunity.

I listen to mothers complain about being pregnant, or about things post birth and then I watch my friend state how grateful she would be to be carrying a child, regardless of the inconveniences most would grunt or moan about. I suppose this post is more about complaining, and realizing what we have to be grateful for. So many of the things that come easily or naturally to us, are things that others fight or wish for and never receive.